Business Writing Grammar Hunt Pronoun Antecedents

by Mary Cullen on July 30, 2010

in Recommended Resources

This one paragraph contains a business grammar error. Find and correct it.

On July 28, managers presented second quarter sales reports. Greg Cavalos and Daniel Stein discussed the customer service issues that caused the sales decline. Evan Dupont addressed Greg and Daniel’s report, and I agree with him.

Explanation:
This is an example of an unclear pronoun reference (often technically referred to as a “pronoun antecedent error.”) Is the pronoun “him” referring to Greg, Daniel or Evan? It’s not clear, forcing the reader to make assumptions.

Solution:
If you use a pronoun to refer to previously discussed people, make sure the sentence structure makes it clear to whom you refer. The definitive Gregg Reference Manual provides an excellent explanation of this:

  • CONFUSING: Unrealistic deadlines, excessive pressures, and unsafe working conditions can be very damaging to your employees. You must do everything you can to eliminate them. [The employees or the destructive conditions?]
  • CLEAR: Unrealistic deadlines, excessive pressures and unsafe working conditions can be very damaging to your employees. You must do everything you can to eliminate these destructive conditions.

Learn More in This Course: Business Grammar: Error-Free Writing

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Business Thank You Letter How To

by Mary Cullen on June 20, 2010

in Business Writing Etiquette

—Thanks to Leslie Harpold for this 6-step process, published in TMN, Oct.1, 2003. Leslie passed away in 2006. I’ve long admired her writing, and am sad to see it disappearing from the Internet, as her sites have not been renewed after her death. Leslie’s directions on writing the perfect thank you letter are flawless, and I want to help keep her work published, so here is her essay. I made tiny tweaks to match her instructions to business use.

There is a six-point formula to the proper thank-you: Learn it, know it, memorize it – and it will never fail you.

Having trouble finding the right words to thank your client for the contract or your colleague for the assistance? Should you even bother? Oh, yes, you should.

Somewhere in between mom making us sit down with our Disney Stationary and shooting off an email, we’ve lost touch with the concept of simple thank you notes. Now that we’re business professionals, sometimes an email just won’t do, and more is expected than scratching out “Thanks for the help, you rock!”

Grandma might not say anything to you, but trust me: She and her friends are probably at this very moment sighing over how business people today just don’t have manners.

As extra motivation, thank you notes improve the frequency and quality of the help and good will you receive. People like being appreciated, and if they feel you actually notice the nice things they do for you, they’re more likely to give an encore performance.

Writing a thank you is easier than you remember. Buy good quality plain note cards or plain postcards (yes, postcards are perfectly acceptable), and correct postage. Avoid the pre-inscribed ‘Thank you!’ cards in loopy script, as there are times you’ll want to write notes where that aesthetic feels wrong. Tip: Stay away from full-size sheets—note cards are best, as your message will be brief, and would look lost swimming around on a page that large.  Use your printer to customize your plain paper with your name and address, for a more formal look, if you don’t want to invest in personalized business stationary.

1. Greet the Giver

Dear David:

That’s the easy part, but you’d be surprised how many people forget it. Dale Carnegie taught us people love to hear their own names and Direct Marketing is sure we also love to read them in ink. That’s right, ink. Blue-black is always the number-one choice, but black will suffice in a pinch. Don’t let a whimsical marker color be the most stunning part of your note: instead let the words sing without the amplification of rainbow hues. Even if your handwriting is poor, you should still hand-write your notes.

2. Express Your Gratitude

  • Thank you for your help with our corporate community service project.
  • Thank you for your invaluable advice with my department’s annual goals.
  • Thank you for your business.

This first paragraph seems like it would be the easiest, but it is actually the most complicated. Beware the just writing trap. You are not “just writing to say” as in I am just writing to say; that’s stating the obvious.If the giver is reading, clearly you have already written. Therefore use the present-perfect tense.

Also, never directly mention money if you are thankful for a donation. “Thank you for the one hundred dollar donation” could instead be “Thank you for your generosity.” All cash denominations become “your generosity” or “your kindness.”

Don’t worry if it sounds too simple; the point of writing the note is to create a simple expression of a heartfelt sentiment.

3. Discuss Use

  • Your donation will add to ABC’s ability to support 1500 meals at the community shelter.
  • Your advice enabled me to see through the obstacles, and clearly outline my expectations for our productivity this year to my team.
  • We will contact everyone in your team and present the health programs available to them.

4. Mention the Past, Allude to the Future

  • It was great to work with you at the fundraiser, and I hope to see you at the community service dinner in May.
  • Your leadership has long guided me, and I continue to learn from your skill mentoring and supporting your team.
  • I’m grateful for our long working relationship, and eager to support this new project for ABC Corporation.

5. Grace

  • Thanks again for your donation.
  • Thanks again for your advice.
  • Thanks again for the opportunity to work with you.

It’s not overkill to say thanks again. So, yes, say it.

6. Regards

Best regards,

Karen

Simply wrap it up. Use whatever closing works for you and your business relationship: Kind regards, Yours truly, Sincerely. Then sign your name and you’re done.

What’s Not There

Any news about your personal or business life. This isn’t the time to boast about your new project, promotion, or bonus. The thank you is exclusively about thanking somebody for their kindness or assistance. While you may want more than anything to show them you amounted to something, this is not the forum. Save that for your annual holiday letter.

Now mail it promptly. Even if your business colleagues aren’t of the note-writing variety, be the one who sets the precedent. Thank you note writing is one of the loveliest traditions to have been compromised by the information age, and sending well written thanks is a great opportunity for you to stand out.


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Business Writing Grammar Hunt Coined Verbs

by Mary Cullen on June 20, 2010

in Business Writing Grammar

This one paragraph contains a business writing error. Find and correct it:

Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans incentivize employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Explanation:
This contains a recently coined business-speak “verb,” which is an objectionable form of jargon.

Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans incentivize employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Here is the corrected version:

Last year’s sales reports and salary structures prove that profit-sharing plans encourage employees to meet sales goals. Sales were 8% higher for those employees who received a bonus based on their profitability, instead of their longevity.

Are there any coined verbs business terms that you find objectionable? I recently read of the “mainstreamification” of social media!

Learn More in This Course: Business Grammar: Error-Free Writing

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That or Which?

by Mary Cullen on May 6, 2010

in Business Writing Grammar

Coincidentally, three clients requested clarification today about using “that” and “which” in a sentence.

There is an easy rule to remember. “That” introduces essential information in a “restrictive clause.” “Which” introduces extra information in a “nonrestrictive clause.”

“That” Example:

  • “Business writing expertise is the skill that is most valued.” The clause “that is most valued” is essential to the meaning of the sentence, so the correct word is “that.” You cannot remove the “that” clause without changing the meaning of the sentence.

“Which” Example:

  • “We should all pay attention to David’s new product idea, which is likely to triple sales next year.” The second clause provides extra information, and it is not essential to the first clause. Therefore, “which” is correct.

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How To Enable Readability Measures in Microsoft Word 2007

by Mary Cullen on April 28, 2010

in Recommended Resources

The Readability Measures feature in Microsoft Word and Outlook are helpful tools to measure words per sentence, passive voice percentage, the Flesch Reading Ease, and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level in your documents. Together, they offer a measure of the clarity in your business writing.

Thanks to Corporate Geek for this clear explanation of how to configure Readability Measures in Microsoft Word 2007:

First, click on the Office Button and then go to Word Options, as shown below.

Word Options

In the Word Options window, go to the Proofing section. In that section, check the option which says ‘Show readability statistics’ and click on OK.

Word Options

Once this option is enabled, you can check the readability of any text by pressing the F7 key. Microsoft Word 2007 will first make a spell check of the selected text and, at the end, it will show you the readability statistics.

How To Enable Readability Measures in Microsoft Outlook 2007

In Microsoft Outlook 2007, the procedure is slightly different. First, go to Tools -> Options.

Outlook Options

In the Options window, go to the Spelling tab. It is a good idea to check the two available options: ‘Always check spelling before sending’ and ‘Ignore original message text in reply or forward’. By enabling these options, Outlook will always check the correctness of your e-mails before sending them.

Once you have done this, click on the ‘Spelling and AutoCorrection’ button.

Outlook Options

In the Editor Options window, go to the Proofing section. Check the option which says ‘Show readability statistics’ and click on OK.

Outlook Options

Now, before sending an e-mail message, Outlook will first make a spell check of your message and then will show you the readability statistics. If you did not check the ‘Always check spelling before sending’ option from the Spelling tab, Outlook will not check automatically the readability of your message. You can do this manually by pressing the F7 key before sending the message.

Readability Statistics

NOTE: The readability statistics are not available for Powerpoint and Excel. You won’t find them in the configuration options. In Microsoft Office 2003, the readability statistics are available only in Word.

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Proposal Writing and Copyright

Copying and using another company’s content in sales proposals, manuals, and even proprietary proposal format has serious legal consequences, including steep fines and losing infringement-gained profits.
In a recent convoluted suit reported by Law.com, Graham Co. v. Haughey, a Philadelphia insurance brokerage firm brought copyright claims against one of its former employees and the [...]

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Business Writing Words to Ban for 2010

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It’s a new year, so time to ring in interesting and meaningful words to your business writing.
Word “czars” at Lake Superior State University published their 35th annual List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness.
Their complete 2010 list of words to ban from your business writing are:
1. Shovel-ready
2. Transparent/Transparency
3. [...]

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Business Writing Course Lessons from Airlie Center

I had the great pleasure to recently lead a business writing course with sales and planning employees at the very beautiful Airlie Center, a conference center in Virginia.
Airlie Center has been called “an island of thought” by TIME magazine because many creative ideas have been spawned at conferences there: Martin Luther King, Jr.’s March on [...]

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Proofreading when Time is Tight

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What should you do when you must proofread a business document, but you face a panic-stricken colleague, a demanding boss, or a shortened deadline?
As the holiday season and end-of-year deadlines approach, you’ll need to produce more documents in even less time.
Our November newsletter explains how to proofread when time is tight.
Learn More in This Course: [...]

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How to Write by Committee

If an important document is written by committee, it can easily become bloated and unfocused. And, it will lack a cohesive voice.
Too many cooks, throwing in too many ingredients, can easily muddle the audience focus and requisite content:

How to Write by Committee:

Make sure roles are clearly assigned. You need a writer/editor and the sign-off designee:

Choose [...]

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